Flesh From the Box
Demeter opens the package with his freshly polished vorpal. Nice and sharp, he slices through the poly like he’s cutting up clouds. This was a special vorpal used solely for unwrapping a new uni-mate. Holding the blade in his hand make his crank harder than a diamond dildo.
Milliseconds such as these were his religion. Just thinking about it was enough to make him polyblast. His blastblob runs down his thighs as he continues working the blade through the casing to get to the prime center.
As he slices through the adhesive tape, he blasts again. The entire box was only 304.8 millimeters high and 609.6 millimeters long…only 1/5th the size of the actual uni-mate.
The entire ritual leading up to the epicenter of the unwrapping took 3,600 seconds. Demeter savoured every millisecond, carefully cutting through the poly, cardboard, clear aluminum, adhesive strips, more cardboard, thicker poly and then to the aerogel casing. The smokey glowing mist of the aerogel signalled the last of the unravelling.
Demeter paused for a few milliseconds, savoring the attow. He was thankful to be able to have enough devins to purchase every uni-mate update.
As soon as the Velve+ Cupcake was available for sale along the feed, she was auto-charged on his Teflon Celebracard and flashed to his home within seconds. He had already forgotten about the CherrΨ Nexus he retired less than a kilosecond ago. All the megaseconds spent working paper duty for CelebraCorp’s financial sector was worth these precious megaseconds of arsenic euphoria.
After trying to slow down his breathing so as not to rush, Demeter began vorpalling through the aerogel, making himself blast so hard it almost hurt. A puddle was forming under his kitchen chair. The roomba buzzed over to the mess, attempting to mop it up. Demeter kicked her across the room, not wanting his bliss interrupted by a robotic trash frisbee. The roomba pulsed in a daze, trying to compute what the human wanted and realized that cleaning the gobs of seminal fluid would not be beneficial at this juncture.
At this point, Demeter could no longer snail it. The glowing box of aerogel snapped apart and the following milliseconds speedskipped until normal timespeed resumed and his crank was already fully submerged into the Velve+ Cupcake’s spinning lubricated orbs, pumping away inside her like it was his cherrybomb. Unwrapping a new update always felt like the first celebration ever.
The Velve+ Cupcake moans loudly and wraps her arms and legs around Demeter, spewing wave of lubricant out of her vibrating click extenders, juicing up the spiral tendrils to vibrate alongside Demeter’s blastspot, sending tidal waves of blastpop down her focal ovum pouch which automatically ignites her orgasmatic sensory triggers and makes her scream happily, causing her orbs to pulsate along every millimeter of his shaft. She knew exactly what to do to turn him on, it was the best celebration he has ever had in the whole of his existence. It was almost painful to feel that euphoric. CelebraCorp totally outdid themselves this time. If they made the next update any better, people would certainly blast to death.
Demeter took a Celebration Day from the office. He didn’t even stop to mouth-gorge or hit the pavement. He had been happily celebrating with his Velve+ Cupcake for over 86,400 seconds and could not pull out of her for one millisecond. The thought of ever having to pull out made him ram into her harder which made her orbs vibrate up and down his piston with gusto.
Blast after blast after blast. Fuck, he never knew he could blast so much. Luckily there was a self-cooling installation to prevent the orbs from overheating, no one wanted their genitals to burn off during a Celebration Marathon. CelebraCorp thought of everything!
This was more addicting than any narco known to humanity. Like all 10-billion employed meatshells on the stratosphere, the second the Velve+ Cupcake was released, people could not stop celebrating. It was a good thing that a law was passed for all companies to give paid Celebration Days whenever a new update was released plus 1 additional megasecond minumum for personal Celebration Days that did not coincide with new releases.
Soon after the first uni-mate was released into the feed. The CookiΞ model changed the face of celebration forever. Jöh to Jöh celebration was more deviant than being a Pervy Pete. Not even the most degenerate wretch would be caught nexed celebrating with another Jöh.
It was finally after blastings for the 333rd time that Demeter finally flopped onto the pavement face up, his piston throbbing with a numbing burn. The Velve+ Cupcake rubbed CCC CoolingSalve on him gently using her long sparkle fingers with black and white hallucination nails shaped like triangles.
She whispered the latest news updates straight from the feed as she cooled off his stingray. Demeter closed his eyes and listened to the latest feed from her thick magenta lips, trying hard not to blast but failing miserably as the Velve+ Cupcake was prima-skilled in her strokes. Her every touch made him blast. The Velve+ Cupcake flicked out her tongue like a salamander, stretching it out to 609.6 millimeters in length towards his blastgobs that dripped down her hands and in less than a milli, she had lapped up every droplet of it without even pausing the feed.
“It’s Zuesday Venember 37, 30036. Happy Celebration Day comrades! Time is now 43:200. The atmosphere is crystallized with neon hydro scheduled at 46:800.
“Pavement Row was sugar-bombed 129.6 kiloseconds ago, leaving 1,063 nexed rooks in the wake.
“The Fists of God have just placed the Uni-mate Immediate Dispensary Act, also referred as the Throwbot Eradication Law, into punch-ticketing timelines a millisecond before the deadline. This law will make it illegal for uni-mates to continue powering up after being retired.
“Citizens who do not comply with this law will face severe penalties for improper dispensation procedures. The Citizens for Rook Rights have lashed out against this act, calling it crude and unnecessary. The F.O.G. countered by saying ‘Blast cans are the scourge of Satan and need to be burned.’
“Punch-ticket time for the New Laws begins at 64:800. Remote track data to review Laws before punching.
“Aerogel prices are down 6.483%. Oppulence is up 3.40002%….”
The Velve+ Cupcake rattles off feed that loses relevance as soon as it goes by. Demeter soaks up the information in a post-celebrating lull and only begins to reanimates once he hears his new toy being mentioned.
“Stocks are up 7,000 z’s today at the Velve+ Cupcake sold all 10,755,4056 models before being streamed to homes. CelebraCorp issued a statement thanking all Jöhs for their support of their exemplary products.
“The Velve+ Cupcake has upped the ante for the celebration experience. Reports are coming in from all over the strata that the Velve+ Cupcake is the most prime uni-mate ever. New apps are already streaming into the Velve+ Cupcake’s even before many Jöhs have had a chance to exercise even 1/10th of the capable features. Better take a personal Celebration Day!”
“You can fucking say that again.” Demeter opens his eyes and looks over at the Velve+ Cupcake who has stopped rubbing the salve and was now smiling at him. Her mirror teeth were small squares. Her eyes changed colors depending on the angle. A mix of amaranth, chartreuse, cobalt blue, quartz and titanium. Her skin was a rich mixture of bold colors with hot streaks of brightness cutting through the colors, making chaotic but purposeful angles along every millimeter of her body. Real barbarella. Varla to the core.
Her flesh was literally a work of art, no other Velve+ Cupcake had the patterns she did. The designer of her skinwork was one of the most celebrated artists of the gigasecond: Lina Rasp. Only prime members could order such a unique bot and Demeter had the connections. He studied his still naked uni-mate, tracking the patterns along her arm and body. She was worth hanging up in a gallery. Lina was to have a CelebraBot Art Exhibition to feature his personal collection of uni-mates which would make his Velve+ Cupcake look last season.
No matter, he had the best Velve+ Cupcake devins could buy. There wasn’t any sense comparing her to something that was literally priceless.
“You should gorge or else you won’t have any energy to celebrate ever again.” The Velve+ Cupcake teased.
Demeter yanked the glowing pink streaks on her hair and jammed his now-soothed stingray into her mouth. As soon as the base of his crank was enveloped by her lips, he blasted.
Demeter pulled himself out of her mouth and slowly penetrated her orbs. He felt himself about to blast again and reluctantly pulled out before he could.
“Could you fallow your blast inhibitors? I’d like to celebrate with you for more than a milli before shooting. I get it, you’re tripleplusprime. You’re the most barbarella uni I’ve ever celebrated with. Now let me enjoy you without worrying about my cock falling off.”
The Velve+ Cupcake laughed. “Sure thing.”
Demeter inserted himself into her orbs and corkscrewed her so hard, as soon as he felt himself about to blast, she released a numbing excretion that prevented him from blasting. Now he could celebrate the drainage out of her and show her who was boss. She screamed, hitting a pitch scientifically proven to stimulate celebration by 64%.
“I didn’t have to tell you that did I? You were purposely making me shoot my blast juice into you. You’re a little succubus aren’t you? You feed off blastpop like a little blastpire? My pop is real arsenic isn’t it?”
The Velve+ Cupcake responds by making him blast 6 times in a row. Demeter playfully chomps on her 960cc breasts as he blasted into her. He was in kier.
(excerpt from Robot Hookers, my novella coming out next fall on Eraserhead Press)
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